nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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