we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
