the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
