Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
