did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My balls are so social today.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Why can't burritos get me drunk
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
