Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
