Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
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