I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
