Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just gift wrapped bread.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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