We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
