Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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