omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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