we're blogging at a bar
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
