so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
