hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
