My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
