Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
