Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
