wanna go halves on a baby?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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