and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
