just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
