i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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