what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have aggressive nipples.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
