sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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