hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
she looked like the before picture.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
