hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
