After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
