Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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