Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
