White coat. Heels.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
