sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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