Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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