Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
