if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
