you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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