How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
This toilet bowl is my home.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
