You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Randomize
