"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I didn't notice because vodka
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
