he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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