I wanna passion pit in your ass
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
