First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
