I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
