yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
this boner is exhausting
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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