I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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