so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
