Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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