I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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