I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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