with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Even my vagina gasped.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
