when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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