How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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