The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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