I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
