yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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